Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Wishful Thinking Part Two

On Wednesday my frustration overcomes my intense paranoia. You know, the paranoia that has me believe that everybody I've ever met has somehow found their way to this blog, reads my entries to their friends, laughs out loud, pastes quotes to their friends on AIM, lolz. But I have to talk about this. I don't care if the person I am talking about is reading.

Dear readers, I think Friend G is gay. And normally, I'm not the optimistic type, but I have physical proof. He is always touching me. And this has escalated from rubbing his head against my tummy. He has moved on to sitting on my lap. Touching my feet while I'm sleeping. Rubbing his foot against mine when I'm not sleeping. Holding my hand for more than 1.36 seconds. Jumping into my bed when I'm still in it. Spooning. Lying on top of me. Making overtures to gay sex.

And there could be several reasons for this. Maybe he knows I am gay and he is just messing with me. Maybe being an only child has seriously impaired his social inhibitions. Maybe he is a big flaming fag.

I don't know though. Perhaps I am using the evidence that is convenient to see what I want to see. And it's not like he's the only one doing the touching. I've slapped his butt more often than any self-respecting straight boy ever would (but he likes it...). I should also mention that he is obsessed with hockey, which is pretty much the antithesis of the pride parade for those of you that are wondering. And also, he is interested in women on Facebook. And we all know that anything on Facebook is the be-all end-all of these things.

I just wish I knew what he was thinking. Because when I do these things with him, it feels so right to me. But it kills me to think that to him, it's all just a joke.


Random Thinker said...

ummm... sitting on your lap? sleeping together?

have you felt him metamorphisize while he's lying on top of you or spooning with you?

does he use his tongue when he kisses you?

me thinks he is trying to send you a subtle or not so subtle hint, and maybe he thinks you're the one not getting what he's hinting at?

Toby said...

My advice: Don't write about your friends behind their back on your blog. Also, don't waste your emotions on college boys who aren't out to themselves. Save those emotions for someone who can return them.

u street said...

oh wow. lots of teasing and foreplay. i think he's clearly pushing the envelope, if not outright flirting with you.

and its quite possible that he is wanting you to take the lead, move things a step further...

obviously, you could just directly confront him about his actions and ask him what is up OR you could move that ass slap to other parts of the body and see how he reacts...

but before you do any of that, you need to consider the negative repercussions. if he is straight, will you be hurt if he tells other people what happened? will you be able to deal with him potentially shutting down and not being your friend anymore?

not raising these things to give you anything to stress about...

and hell, we can always meet in an alley ;-)

dickophile said...

he is sooooo gay. as for liking women on facebook well, closeted fags always pretended to be interested in women. i used to. and just because you're gay doesnt mean you cant like sports. what better way to ogle hot boys with amazing bodies who like body slamming each other?

Anonymous said...

This ALWAYS happens to me. I grew up surrounded by these guys that like to "play". Sometimes I wonder if they think about what they are really doing or saying. The few times I have confronted these guys about it they just brush it off with some joke or comment.

Once I was sleeping over a friends house and his younger brother (This guy would always touch me when we sat next to each other on the couch be it with his foot or hand) came into the room i was sleeping in and started spooning with me. I was fucking stunned. I didnt react but kept on thinking "what the hell is going on?" so I kept on pretending to be asleep like a damn idiot. Well in the mourning i made some allusion to the fact that someone had been messing with my stuff during the night and he played it off like it was a practical joke... for awhile i was convinced he was gay but my self-defeating attitude has made me extremely uncertain.

Its funny because many of these guys seem to want to sporadically wrestle with me.

I personally enjoy the closet. I dont want to be part of a community of people who for the most part (In my experience...) are just too ridiculous to live productive and healthy lives.

That being said I am only a human being and as such am subject to the temptations and pleasures of these people who are constantly teasing.

Woe is me!

Aek said...

Perhaps you should try accelerating things, and see how far things go? One step at a time. If he's really gay (or maybe bi, who knows), and you're gradual enough, things'll lead to where you want them to go anyway. ;)

x! said...

Geez, I hate ambiguity. I would just ask him if he is gay or not. Easier said than done, I know, but what's the worse that can happen?

Oh yeah, if you do ask him if he is gay he may not "play" around with you anymore.

David said...

big rainbow flag in your face.

but almost everyone here is suggesting you "take it to the next level". you need to think about it for yourself and see if taking the risk is worth it.

if he does turn out to be gay, are you interested?

on the other hand, some guys are just naturally touchy. it's "normal" for them. and like you said, this could all very well be just a joke to him. but hopefully it isn't.

much love,

MK said...

Toby, don't be so harsh on college kids who aren't out. Some people just aren't strong enough or secure enough to be honest with themselves. There's no reason to be hurtful--we should be compassionate.

As for you, J, you need to get this boy drunk. Not just drunk but wasted. Obliterated, even. And then you need to start up the physical flirtations you two have been keeping up for however long now. And then you need to see where it goes. This plan will probably work best if you are also drunk yourself. But not too drunk. Two drunk people = VERY sloppy sex.

Oldyeller said...

If he's doing these things with you in front of others, then it could just be meaningless horseplay. (If this is the case, don't the others call him on it?)But if he does these things only when just you're around, then chances are he's coming on to you. But I would advise doing nothing for now--things have a way of sorting themselves out. If you ask him directly and he denies it (whether he is or not), then your relationship with him will probably suffer.