Saturday, October 18, 2008

Boo, You Whores

On Saturday, my problem is that I hate all of my friends. And the biggest issue I have with them is that they only care about themselves. But also, they are bitchy, undependable, selfish, manipulative liars. Basically my friends are Regina George, Gretchen Wieners, and Karen Smith.

And I know I shouldn't talk about them behind their backs.

But they deserve it.

And I know that if I hate them so much, I shouldn't still be friends with them.

But who else do I have.

I'd rather hang out with people that I hate than be alone. And I would love to make new friends, but I don't know how. All the new people I meet are just friends of friends. And our relationships are pretty much hollow. They are fine to eat lunch with and get drunk with but they are not friends that you can call to talk or friends that mean anything at all. Maybe I can start meeting people outside of this extended network, but I can't imagine going up to strangers and asking them if they want to watch Desperate Housewives with me this Sunday 9/8 central. I feel like the only way I can start a conversation with a person I don't know already is if we are both stuck in an elevator and we are devising an escape plan.

How do people meet new people?

More importantly, how do people (me) meet new people (a nice handsome gay boy that doesn't drive me insane)?

Assuming the percentage of gays out of the entire population hovers somewhere around 5%, there should be about 2,000 gays at this school. Why haven't I met a single one? Ok, that's a lie, I've probably met about half of them. But this is the 1,000 that wear skinny jeans, pink feather boas, and high heels to class. Unlike Bosteaparty's world, where 100% of the characters are hot muscly gays. My world is filled with belligerent straight guys and gays that look like Peter Jackson or Christian Siriano. And I feel like I am playing a big game of whack-a-mole. Every time I come around all the good masc. gays scuttle into the Art-Sociology building or the Performing Arts Center.

All I need to do is become good friends with one person that has the right connections. But obviously that is easier said than done.


miike said...

"a nice handsome gay boy that doesn't drive me insane"... they don't exist. sorry. they are myths like santa claus, the easter bunny and god.

Kris said...

There's this Burgundy Crescent Volunteering group that you might meet some folks. Err, my bf and I met through (there's good guys in it methinks, not just the horny ones) I met guy friends through craigslist also.

Do you go out to bars or anything? Met some folks at Be Bar the few times I went there.

dickophile said...

ah the plastics. such bitches. on the up side if you play your cards right you can steel reginas hot boyfriend and poison her so she gets all fat and ugly and no body likes her and then you can run the school. or something like that.

yours truly said...

haha I've noticed the same thing about BostonTeaParty's and muscle-filled indeed. We should just start a coalition of cute guys who just want the same thing, no fruitiness attached

Anonymous said...

you need to change your mindset about your friendships. I would rather be alone than be out with people that are not really your friends. I would suggest putting some effort into finding friends instead of bitching. No one said being gay was easy!! We all understand..

j said...

miike: i will settle for a handsome boy then. gay or not gay. annoying or not annoying.

kris: i fear the internet and i'm too young for bars. sadly.

dickophile: but first i have to crack gretchen wieners.

yours truly: let's make a facebook group for it.

anon: omg i had no idea that finding friends would take effort. and omg i thought being gay was going to be so easy. omg thanks for the valuable comment.

sean said...

hey, now. only one guy is a hot muscly gay in my world.

i was talkin to one my friends bout this too: how to meet new people. we could only come up with starting conversation where random convo is appropriate. like classes. forget to bring a pen and ask if you can borrow someone's or joke about something the prof says. the more relaxed you are meeting someone, the easier it is to become friends.

MK said...

Making new friends can be hard, even (or maybe especially) in college. It's easy to get stuck in a group of people. There are no easy ways out, unfortunately. You just have to bite the bullet and do something outside of your comfort zone, like randomly talking to someone in a class or in the dining hall.

Also, an observation: most of the gay guys I know who dislike the femme, queeny, Christian Siriano-types are actually just uncomfortable with their unabashed gayness. Actually, not even just most gay guys, but most people. Which is really sad because when you think about it, they're actually stronger than most people, including straight-acting gays. They put up with so much shit because they're honest and unafraid to be themselves. Plus, they tend to be the most fun.

j said...

sean: during architecture history. i turn to my neighbor. "hey sorry, i forgot to bring a mouth, can i put my cock in yours." and i love how i pretend i don't know what's wrong with me.

mk: you're right. i am very very uncomfortable with it.

Anonymous said...

mk: "They put up with so much shit because they're honest and unafraid to be themselves"..."they're actually stronger than most people".....

hmmm are they actually stronger? Or are they just so much more INSECURE, that they crave the attention?