Friday, October 10, 2008

Hectic Inside

Enough is enough. I am so sexually frustrated, I can barely function anymore. Sex foot two said "sup" to me as he was coming out of the shower and I almost came all over myself. Unfortunately his girlfriend is visiting this weekend, but looking on the bright side, I guess this gives me a chance to kill her and show him that I can give better blowjobs. He ran into my room just now and asked me if I wore contacts. I thought it was because he is in love with me and wants to know every detail about my life. But it turns out his stupid ass girlfriend forgot to bring contact solution. So I gave him my solution and I gave him my heart because I couldn't say no to his beautiful smile. And he called me a lifesaver but I'd rather him call me baby.

And as the frustration with sex foot two mounts, my sexual energy has become somewhat of a loose cannon. Every time I see a hot guy walking to class, I cant stop imagining having sex with him. And from that point, it's just a sweet sweet fantasy, where I fret over the potential venues for our wedding reception. Then I imagine our beautiful home in suburbia, our beautiful kids running around the backyard with our labrador retriever, and having more sex on the black granite countertop in the kitchen. Can I just fast forward through this boring part of life and get to the sex. God. If anybody reading this lives in the DC area and is willing to make out furiously in a mutually beneficial location (on my body) please email me. You can find my email in my profile. Thanks.


Ali said...

i am right there with you friend. my sexual frustration is palpable. and i'd volunteer my body to you but i live across the country

and i dont look like levi johnston :(

Joseph said...

I feel your pain.

Okay I don't, but I hope you can find relief in sexy places.

dickophile said...

hahahahah. see you satisfy me in the one way lp couldn't. he was asexual. and you sooooo obviously are not. i have to say this is why i like having a boyfriend. i find with us, much like girls and their periods, our cum is in tune. we always want sex at the same time.

Silly Billy said...

This made me chuckle. Not that your frastration is funny. At all.

Shane said...

I don't even recognise you anymore!!

u street said...

might be time for another trip to Town ;-) J, be adventurous, you are young!

P.S. - I am in D.C.

Anonymous said...

i live in dc and like your writing. email me.

anna said...

laugh out loud

j said...

ali: i'd make the trek at this point, levi johnston or not.

dickophile: uhm. ew.

silly billy: go ahead, laugh at me, i don't care.

shane: why? how? what?

u street: let's meet in a dark alley some time.

Jeff said...

God, I know exactly what you're talking about. The constant visualizing is the WORSE. All I have to do is pass some hot guy on the street, and it's all over.

You've got a great blog!