Sunday, January 25, 2009

Diatribe

Before I go on extended breaks, I tend to get frustrated with the people around me. "I don't care because I'm not going to see you for two months and when I come back I am going to have the body of Jessie Pavelka and you will be kicking yourself for making me mad. Bye. Die."

This is Jessie Pavelka's "About Me" on ModelMayhem.
My name is Jessie Pavelka. I am a fortunate yet unfortunate person just like all the rest of us. (That's deep.) Strengths and weaknesses, good and bad, happy and sad, you know the rest. (This sentence is missing three predicates.) I have decided to devote my life to chasing my dreams and aspirations w/(Is it really that hard to write it out?) no regret(s) and no fear in my heart. If things work out great, if things go on the way(one word)side(,) I accept and move on. Days get long and life gets short, but I keep on going. I am loved and loveable(maybe in person) and TRY to send out love even when (i)t is not received.(That's very big of you.) I am a spiritual being who strongly believes in God and Quantum Physics.(hah...) Things happen for a reason and at the exact time they are supposed to.(You won't be saying that when Dietribe is cancelled.) My thoughts control me and I control my thoughts.(That makes sense.) This is me. KEEP IT REAL My Heroe is Most definitley my Mother the strongest woman/human being(an unusual hybrid indeed) I have ever met and anyone with the courage (to) turn a thought into and idea(,) then impliment that idea into something great, something that matters....(transition?) I DO NOT DO NUDITY OF ANY KIND!! Thank you! (You're Welcome.)
Note: the misspelled words
lovable
hero
definitely
implement
with
it

Note: the capitalized words
TRY - meaning his attempts to send out love without recieving are mostly unsuccessful
Heroe, Most, Mother - none of those words should be capitalized under any circumstance
KEEP IT REAL - an impulsive statement that must have occurred to him suddenly while writing
I DO NOT DO NUDITY OF ANY KIND - i don't wanna talk about this

Also:
Why do they even call the show Dietribe? I get the whole "ha ha play on words" bit, but it doesn't even make sense. Diatribe means a bitter verbal attack (like I have just demonstrated). You can't just pluck words out of the dictionary that almost have the word diet in them and make a show out of it. It's completely irrelevant!


I'm going back to school tonight and I don't have the body of Jessie Pavelka.

11 comments:

J said...

that was a very deep and interesting diatribe, and it made me realize that moving 2 cali is the best thing for me to do

Shane said...

JEALOUS MUCH.

Aek said...

LOL, awww. :P

Doug said...

HAHA.. shane seriously has it out for you doesn't he? lol.

But loved every part of that. And then I went to google to search for pictures of Jessie Pavelka and drooled a bit. That's the new Lifetime show, right?

Anonymous said...

Your righteous anger nourishes me.

-P in Phoenix

dickophile said...

he doesnt do nudity?! then whats his purpose?

Anonymous said...

Not to be petty but I honestly don't think the (d) you placed at the end of the (an) makes much sense..

As an aside, Jessie doesn't seem like anything to write home about.

j said...

anon: parenthesis would imply i added it. the d was there to begin with and i was suggesting it should be taken out.

Anna said...

ahahh ur so cute

Random Thinker said...

i had no clue who you were talking about. when i saw the name jessie - i thought of a girl, since that really is a girl's name.

and then when you said you wanted a body like jessie, i wondered if you were talking about boobs...

but googling jessie, i realize that jessie is a man and a boob.

Anonymous Blogger said...

People are annoying, trust me. I know all about it. Have you ever heard of black out rages? I get it all the time. well not all the time. haha