Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Summer Rides

Tall Blonde Alcoholic and I were going to the same party so he asked me for a ride there. When he got in the car, all I could notice was how good he smelled and how weird I was for noticing. But some guys just smell so good that it makes your mind go numb. Since I was driving and at least a little bit of consciousness was necessary, I rolled down the windows and pressed on.

I am 83% sure he is gay. Which is very relevant to me. But it's also irrelevant because even if he were, there is no guarantee that he would want anything to do with me. I hate people who think that two gay guys need nothing else but their gayness in common to get along. With that said, whenever I see a hot guy who I know absolutely nothing about, I tend to hope he is gay and believe that is the only thing we need to establish in order to get married.

Anyway, we went to the party. Which turned out to be somewhat of a letdown. It was nothing more than a get together where a few people got drunk and watched bad movies. And there I was, hoping it would be the kind of party that got all of us so wasted that I could rape him without him remembering a thing the next morning. Throughout the night, there were lots of weird moments where we both made eye contact or my leg accidentally brushed up against his. It always got my heart beating but deep down I know that he is oblivious to the tension that exists only in my mind. There is nothing between us and there never will be.

So I accepted what we were and drove him home. But before he got out of the car, he leaned over and kissed me. He still smelled good but also like cheap beer and chicken mcnuggets. When I realized what he was doing, I pulled away and he asked me what was wrong. I said, "You know I have a cold, right?"


But that last part didn't really happen.

10 comments:

kgb1172 said...

Wow... that's very good writing. This may not mean anything to you but I was just watching my favorite episode of "Mad Men" and I dunno.. good writing has extra pull with me right now.

This was fantastic.

Aek said...

Woah, which last part is false again? The part about him kissing you or the part about you saying you had a cold? o_O

Formysake said...

that last paragraph and last line really threw me in for a loop.

literally

I don't know anymore.

Doug said...

Can you please clarify? I want to know more! boo to your cliffhanger. :P

goleftatthefork said...

Perfectly told - it almost doesn't matter which part is false - but I hope it's just the part about the cold

Toby said...

Awesome post, I loved the ending!

Anna said...

Soooooo what makes you 83% sure he is gay?

Jeff said...

83% gay = maybe his tongue was only 83% in your mouth? ;-P

David said...

ahhhh

Thirty3 Naked Laydies said...

How many times have we all been privy to such situations? Thank you for documenting it -- so well.