Sunday, September 27, 2009

Salisbury Je T'aime

When Average Brown Quarter-Asian invited me to her friend's beach house in Salisbury for the weekend, I was extremely hesitant about going. I am not very close with her group of friends and I live in constant fear of being judged by strangers. Also, if I got into a huge fight with somebody there I would have nowhere to go and I would still have to drive back with them for 3 hours at the end of the weekend. Also, I hate using other people's showers and sleeping on the floor.

But I decided to go because Tall Blonde Alcoholic was going and one weekend alone with Average Brown Quarter-Asian would have given her an insurmountable lead in the race for his affection.

The first night we were there, there was a party in the beach house. I met an impossibly attractive club lacrosse player with an incredible body and a gorgeous face. While trying to come up with ideas to talk him out of his compression shorts, I noticed that one girl had started grinding her ass against Tall Blonde Alcoholic and he kept on backing away. A few minutes later, the girl came to me and asked me what was wrong with Tall Blonde Alcoholic. I laughed and said I didn't know. She said, "maybe he is gay." I laughed again and said, "maybe he is." I looked over at him and he was pretty much standing next to us and he probably heard the entire thing.

For the next hour he stood in the corner of the room and would not stop downing beers and taking shots of vodka. I couldn't decide if he was upset about what I said, the slutty girl who tried to dance with him, or the lab report he had to finish by Monday. Average Brown Quarter-Asian and I tried to get him to stop and ask him what was bothering him but he wasn't listening to either of us.

We went into the next room to discuss strategies of getting him away from the alcohol before he killed himself. But after a few minutes, he came into the room and told us to both come outside with him because he needed to talk to us.

He brought us to the side of the house and said,

"I want you to know that you two are my best friends. And it's probably already obvious but, I'm not exactly straight."

And all I can remember thinking was, "Thank God I came to Salisbury."

14 comments:

Mike said...

Yay for alcohol!

Formysake said...

agreed with Mike, lol

Doug said...

woohoo! can't wait to read more about this new development!

A said...

such a cliff hanger! let's hope ABQA will fall out of the race!

David said...

"not exactly straight" probably means he's into men. and men only.

so you probably won.

but damn... shoulda tried to get into lacrosse player's pants!

Aek said...

Interesting development. Now what happens? I feel for him that it'd take a bit of alcohol to get the truth out of him - but at least you probably won this round.

Anonymous said...

Good news for you. *clap* Now, speaking from personal experience, help him process this without the aid of copius alcohol, which too often is the downfall of an otherwise good gay man and what could be a good gay relationship. That shit is as dangerous as any illicit drug.

TED said...

The whole "best friend" thing probably means that he likes you but ultimately doesn't want a sexual relationship with you. You should probably strike while he's vulnerable. It might ruin the friendship, but otherwise you have to be prepared to listen to years of stories about his dating life and sexual misadventures.

Tom said...

I've always said it, people are more themselves after a few stiff drinks in them... now, how to get him to profess his undying love without a drink? Always the trickiest part...

conrad said...

this is such an amazing turn of events

Anna said...

agree with TED, strike while he's vulnerable!

Craig said...

Exciting news! Should be interesting to hear how things go between you two now. But it actually may be even more complicated than before. Do you think he thinks you're gay as well?

Kris said...

Prolly gay. It's easier for some to say they're 'bi' lol. I know this one guy who says he's bi but only dated guys the 3 yrs I know him.

That's cool he kinda stepped out of the closet :)

Mike said...

would have loved to have seen Average Brown Quarter-Asian's face when he said "it's probably already obvious but…". in my mind, she murmurs "hmurr" under her breath, making even scooby-do proud.