Friday, August 1, 2008

Just Curious

I am going to interpret the lack of response for my last post as a sign of resounding agreement. And I am completely satisfied with that explanation. Yesterday night I went to McDonald's at about 11:00pm and I don't care if you guys think it's unhealthy to eat at McDonald's/eat that late at night/eat at all. I happen to think McDonald's is pretty delicious and the grilled chicken sandwich is relatively healthy and I am only young once. And I am completely satisfied with that explanation.

But as I was munching on my fries, ignoring my friends, staring at a cute guy munching on his own fries, I began to wonder something. This guy seems totally straight, but would he be willing to experiment with me in the restroom? Just how many guys are straight but curious? And if so, how can you ever know if they are curious? Would you risk being completely forward with every straight guy you meet? What if one turns out to be a homophobic serial killer who beats you to death with a shovel?

One of the biggest issues I have with being gay is that finding other people who are gay is so goddamn difficult. If you are straight, it is pretty safe to say that any old girl you see on the street could be a potential mate. But if you are gay, how can you know who to go after? I guess this is a bigger problem for me because I am attracted to guys who act straight/ look straight/ are straight and those kind of guys blend in so well with the rest of the "normal" society. It's almost like they are real human beings.

I think a brilliant solution to all of this is to create some sort of clearly visible way of identifying a person's sexual orientation upon first glance. Perhaps all gays should get tattoos on our arms that say, "FAG". All straight but curious people should get tattoos on their arms that say, "I'm willing to fool around but will only let you fuck me if you get me extremely drunk and exploit my emotional insecurities." And all straight guys who are totally uninterested in men should die. And I am completely satisfied with this idea.


Aek said...

lol? . . .

David said...

first of all, mickey d's is horrible for you. ever watch supersize me? i know that movie is an exaggeration, but really now. you're only young once, but don't you want to be HEALTHY and young?

most straight guys would probably just respond with a "no thanks" or "i don't swing that way".

in my opinion, it's really not that difficult to find gay guys. but maybe it has something to do with where i live (San Francisco, gay mecca of the world).

when you say straight/straight-acting guys "blend in so well with the rest of the 'normal' society", are you implying that being gay is not normal? cuz that's what i'm getting from ya... no offense.

and what do you mean by "it's almost like they are real human beings"? every single person on the face of this earth, no matter what gender, race, sexual orientation, class, status, political/religious affiliation, and so on, is a human being.

lastly, if we create some way to identify a person's sexual orientation, where's the fun in that? not everyone is even aware of their own sexual orientation. plus, there is so much more to a person than their sexual orientation. sure, a person's sexual orientation is important in seeing whether they are potential partners or mates, but (and this is completely my opinion), trial and error will work itself out.

wow that was too long of a comment from me. gonna end by saying that i'm not trying to argue or anything with with you, just presenting my thoughts. oh, and please do clarify if i said something about something you didn't mean to imply...


Aaron said...

wow ok unlike david i'm gonna take this post's discussion for the spirit of jest in which i'm sure it was intended and just say thanks for the laugh.

I completely agree with ur overall point tho. I too am attracted to more straight-acting guys, and as a pretty masculine guy myself who isn't totally out, i find it hard for me to meet gay guys i'm attracted to.

and really, don't eat mcdonald's. i haven't touched it since super size me.

Aaron said...

oh and i just wanna say i really like ur writing and I added u to my blogroll. don't get too excited, my blog is very much a work in progress :P

David said...

oh i see what aaron means..

i guess i took it too literally.. sorry X_X

Gemini's Life said...

ummm...didn't Hitler try the same resoning with the Jews? haha

Gemini's Life said...

But I must agree, a good gay is hard to find without risking a smack in the face with a shovel.

steevo said...

Tongue in cheek... [which one?] -lol- still carries a lot of truth!

You write well, if with considerable sarcasm. Finding a great guy will never be easy. That makes him worth the almost endless search. If you move in a "mixed" crowd of peers, and u r out and comfortable and not a jerk, you'll meet lots of people. Gay and str8 peers will be anxious to introduce you around.

You need to be able to move with normal social graces and be conversant in more than Johnny Pornstar's statistics. I have to admit that we [me n hubby] have a few dear gay friends who can not do this and they have less satisfying lives overall. Life, even in a gay ghetto, is still a ghetto.

If your post in not a classic put-on, for the most part anyway, then you are a sick fuck and you and "all straight guys who are totally uninterested in men should die. And I am completely satisfied with this idea."


steevo in cali

j said...

aek: i know, i'm messed up

david: you're absolutely right about everything except mcdonalds. mcdonalds is great.

aaron: oh i am very excited.

gemini: the tattoos or killing all the people?

steevo: since when does sarcasm detract from writing? are you implying that i'm a jerk? also, i didn't really understand what you said in the last paragraph. hopefully you weren't insulting me some more or i'd feel pretty foolish right now...

Hish said...

Finally, someone else who likes McDonald's and doesn't worry about how unhealthy it is!!!

It'd be easier if we had some sort of discreet insider's hand signal or something... although in this day and age, it probably wouldn't stay secret for too long.

I'm curious though; would you mind being friends with and being seen hanging out with a very obviously gay guy? As in, someone who fits all the gay stereotypes.

Dan said...

I've actually had a somewhat opposite experience with straight guys. I've had a couple of straight guy friends who have wanted to make out with me to "find out what it's like to kiss another guy." However this leaves me feeling more akin to a lab rat rather than the object of their affections, which usually makes me feel crappy instead of feeling complimented. (I'm pretty sure that was one massive run on sentence)

I'm kinda addicted to those McFlurries so I say more power to you regarding the whole McDonalds thing(as long as it's in moderation).

You make a great point with the whole figuring out if a masculine guy is gay, when most of the time they wouldn't even admit it if you asked. But that's life, guess we have to wait for someone to invent an actual gaydar gadget.