Monday, August 4, 2008

Homebody

So on Monday night I find out that because of scheduling changes due to the Olympics, Nadal won't take over the number one spot until later this month. For those of you that were bored with my short bout of happiness, worry not. I am back to being miserable.

Monday morning I go to _________ Mall and immediately find my way into J.Crew because I won't pretend to be a fashionista but I do enjoy looking like I just walked off of a yacht in Nantucket. And to achieve that effect, J.Crew is the place. As I weigh the pros and cons of buying two vintage polos for 60 USD, a sales associate walks by, stares at me, and doesn't offer any help. Normally, I would be thankful because I hate how forward sales associates are and I really don't understand how they think they could ever help me sort out all of my issues, but I've come to expect that they would at least try. Anyway, this sales associate totally snubs me. Oh, and he is gay. I could tell because as he talked to the other customers, he used words like "totally" and "fabulous" and his voice sounded a little bit like Christian Siriano's. I don't usually find these kind of guys attractive but this sales associate was just too cute in his red chinos and green sweater. Please come over here sales associate and help me try off my clothes. What's with me and sales associates? Maybe I'm just scheming to get that 10% discount.


Inside the store, there is a size 2 woman with her two babies in tow trying on jackets and she only reminds me how badly I want a family of my own someday. I want to take my babies to J.Crew and dress them in expensive little people clothing and bring them home to my husband to show him what we bought and where his money is going. Just a few years ago, I thought that kids were nothing but annoying little poop machines without enough sense not to suffocate themselves with plastic bags. But I guess my biological clock is trying to tell me something.

I suppose there are a good number of gay guys who choose never to have families and never get married. It's a valid lifestyle choice and it's not like their only other option is to spend their lives in utter loneliness drinking whiskey out of the bottle and watching Liza with a Z over and over and over. In all fairness, gays should be the last people to judge other gays. But I feel like guys who choose to get married and move to the suburbs and adopt little Chinese babies (or make their own babies in test tubes) get a bad rep within the gay community. It seems as though homebodies are seen as fools trying desperately to fit into a "straight culture" that doesn't welcome them. But I don't see it that way at all. When I move to New England and feed my kids wheaties and put up a white picket fence around my house, it
won't be because I am trying to fulfill society's expectations for me. It will be because wanting a family of my own is the one thing in my life that I am absolutely sure of.


Figure 1: Couple from New York Times Magazine's article about gay marrieds

4 comments:

Aek said...

Awww, don't be miserable. :(

I freaking <3 babies and little kids!! I totally want a family one day. Even if I never get married or ever have biological children, I will adopt. I've decided.

David said...

i love this entry! you really do have a knack for writing :)

maybe gay sales associate was waiting for you to make the move, which is why he stared at you in the first place. or maybe he's just an asshole.

yay for children!! they are so cute.

steevo said...

next time u see gay sales ass. just lick your eyebrows and he'll cum right over. But don't overdo it.

l o l

AND PROPS TO YOU re:kids. Hisband and i are getting closer to adopting. we thot about a surrogate mother, TRUTH is there are so many babies needing homes, even older kids.

I don't know about DC, but gay couples with kids r not unpopular here in the San Francisco Bay area. Kinda chic actually.

In SF there are gay and lezbeen couples who co-parent the kids the lezez have and the gay dad/dads provide the "milk" as always hard joshie would say.

we know a lez couple, one caucasian and the other half Asian-half caucasian. They found a lez MD sperminator service and have picked out a half Asian milk donor. Expensive, but its only money and then they get babies! I'm with you.

Hisband says if i ever grow up enuf to be left alone with children maybe i can teach half time and be home with the rugrat/s.

I better take lessons somewhere!

steevo in cali
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Shane said...

Cheer up Mr.
Babies are cute!