As I watch the Democratic Convention, I try to count how many Hillary posters are being held upside down. There were too many really, but what's important to know is that people who hold Hillary posters upside down hate America. If there is any justice in our nation, those people will be jettisoned into outer space with the 50 women or whatever.
As I continue watching, Hillary makes a shout out to gays... sort of... and I jump for joy on the inside as I lie on the couch, motionless and barely breathing. And it's great to see Hillary get such a warm reaction from the floor and receive some great praise from Tom Brokaw since she should've won the whole damn thing to begin with. But I have to admit that the speech didn't really do it for me. It was all kind of awkward, lying through her teeth to praise somebody that ruined her life. I know the feeling well, I don't know why I couldn't relate more. But she did what she had to do and it didn't make me hate Obama more. So mission accomplished I guess. The entire democratic party can take a collective breath and wait for the Republicans to fuck up in St. Paul.
Also, I would like to point out that as soon as Hillary was done and those two Asians came out to speak, Brian Williams goes, "K Goodnight!" So maybe someday there will be a woman president that loves gays. But there will never be an Asian president. But I'm pretty much ok with that.
Figure 1: John Mccain is hot.
Figure 2: Howard Dean is hot.
Figure 3: Ronald Reagan is hot.
Figure 4: John Kennedy Jr is hot.