Snuggle

Granted, I don't always present myself as a nice little teddy bear. But that is what I really am. I want to be cuddled with all night long. And during the day, I would be perfectly content with being perched between two fluffy pillows (or perhaps being bounced in freshly washed towels and sheets).

Everyday, I see a new guy that I want to belong to. I don't care if he drags me through the dirt while he is playing his games. I don't mind if his excessive horseplay causes my limbs to fall off. But everyday, it hurts more to think that I can't even remember yesterday's guy's face. All of these guys stumble unknowingly into my life for all of five minutes and then I end up never seeing them again. (Let's not even get into the fact that the love is not reciprocated.) It's depressing and it's tiring and what I really want is to find somebody that makes all of these faces irrelevant. And it would be even greater if this guy were really good at organic chemistry because I need a tutor. But regardless, I'm done with this transient infatuation. I'm going to get a purity ring and join the Jonas Brothers.

And while thinking about all this, I go to the gym and do chest and abs. And the way I describe it makes it sound like I am very serious about my workouts but that is not true. First of all, I use the machines instead of the free weights because all I can imagine is a giant 50kg weight falling on my head and killing me. And people judge me because of it. Second of all, when I use a machine after a real muscly man, I always have to bring the resistance way down and sometimes the shame is just too much. Sometimes, I want to stab my eyes out with a golden brooch. And I'm pretty sure people judge me because of that too.