So it is a Sunday night and hence the perfect time to lay in bed and ponder about what my perfect guy would be like. And I determine that he has tousled brown hair, an effortless smile, and very large arms. More importantly, I decide that he enjoys chopping wood in the backyard, watches football while I protest that Sex and the City is on, and has a secret obsession with N*Sync that he made me promise I would never tell. But ultimately, I come to the conclusion that I have so many flaws, my perfect guy would never want to be with me. Perhaps, because of his charitable nature, he could find it in his heart to love me. But even then, I imagine that it would be in spite of everything wrong with me, and that's not the kind of love I want. I want somebody to love every single thing about me completely and fully. I want him to love me more because of my silly looking ears, extreme emotional issues, and the embarrassing way I sing in the car. But when I hate so many parts of myself so much, finding somebody who could love me seems damn near impossible.
There are so many things I feel like I deserve. Why isn't the perfect guy one of them?
Figure 1: The Perfect Guy
FYI - I made a screen name (dccised) for those of you who would like to talk to me. Actually, I won't even pretend I made it because you want to talk to me. I made it because I desperately want to talk to you. But alas, I am a little too shy, not to mention awkward at starting conversations (two more flaws), so please take the initiative.