Thursday, January 21, 2010

The Gay Couple

The gay relationship is a mysterious beast. Unlike the straight relationship, gay relatioships can't annouce themselves to the world, show their affection in public, or end in marriage. Well, maybe we can in West Hollywood [not the marriage thing] and most parts of Canada. But if you live anywhere else you're probably going to get clubbed to death like a poor baby seal.

With both of us still in the closet, and the background to our bad romance being a somewhat conservative city, it's difficult for me and Tall Blonde Alcoholic to do coupley things. Whenever we're out together I have this strange sense of unease. To
calm my paranoia, we walk with our backs to each other so we have a 360 degree view of approaching lynch mobs. It's more romantic than it sounds.

When we go to the movies, we watch things like 2012 in its tenth week of release or Nine in its first week of release to make sure nobody is in the theater. When we go to dinner together we're not exactly snuggling it up in the booth and spoon feeding each other. And
when we're in a big group, I tend to overcompensate by staying as far away from him as possible. Usually this is easy, though sometimes he mistakes this to mean I am mad at him. But this can prove difficult when he gets drunk and takes off his shirt and charges at me.

It's kind of hard carrying on like this. I feel like I have an obligation to pretend he's not important to me because I don't want to accidentally out him. I guess he feels the same way about me. But playing things cool all the time can really wear a couple down
. At some point this brilliant deception is going to become a reality. Are we fooling the world or just fooling ourselves?


Our two month anniversary is in EIGHT days and I'm so excited!

16 comments:

Sean said...

Your true friends will be see your "coming out" coming a mile away. But when I write that, it's bullshit. You may love the friends that easily accept you (might even feel insulted by that) and you'll want the friends who feel uncomfortable.

But it's important to come out to everyone close to you. It's who you are..whether you want accept it. I like to think that I'm a perfectly normal guy who just happens to feels more attracted to other guys. I don't take pride in our community..mostly cause they embarrass me but I take pride in the fact that I' masculine and know that there other guys out there who think like me.

You and TBA think alike. Take this step together. Not just for your relationship but for yourselves. You already see you're building something with someone. What's a little biggotry to make sure you could really be with a guy?

Sean said...

Please excuse the fact that I sound like a caveman in half that post. LET'S GET DRUNK TOGETHER WHEN I COME BACK TO DA METRO AREAAAA

fuck, i'm gay said...

I am so happy that you have someone to share those awkward moments, those distant/con-couplely dinners, those macho movies with. I would give anything to be in the same situation as you. Take solace in the feelings that you share for each other and just enjoy each minute. My advice: take a gay-friendly trip to somewhere distant and be the couple that you can't be at home.

Good luck and best wishes to the happy couple.

goleftatthefork said...

you're probably fooling part of the world, definitely fooling yourselves, and not fooling anyone who knows you really well ... hope that's not too sobering

but really, does it matter?

The Illustrious D said...

Do not be fooled: baby seals are bitches. Plus, it's a well documented fact that they are not poor and that, in fact, their parents always pay for private schools and Ivy League educations. True story.

I second Fuck, I'm Gay's vaca idea.

TED said...

Come on. DC is a somewhat conservative city? Gay marriage is legal in DC, and there are large parts of the city where you can walk holding hands. You don't have to hide your relationship, and the people you're in a group with all know about it anyway. Can you at least come up with a credible premise?

On the plus side, the 360 degree view line was clever. Enjoy your anniversary.

DC Guy said...

I agree with TED. DC is pretty gay-friendly. Dupont, anyone?

Doug said...

Congrats on the 2 month anniversary. :) I also like the idea of a mini vacation somewhere so that you guys are able to show more affection. A couple, especially a new one like you guys, need that. Hope you find somewhere nice to go and have fun!

champagnesocialist said...

Once you hit 3 months, you stop caring about what other people think enough to be able to get into yelling matches with the significant other in public :D

PYB said...

I dunno, I kind of agree with you that DC is conservative. At least, compared to Boston? Then again, they DID just elected Brown. Maybe all the gay boys there stared at the naked centerfold piece of Brown too long and their brains fried....

Dodger said...

There is a little bit of fooling yourself going on but I would love to be able to have that in my life compared to what I do have! Take a nudist cruise in the Caribean. Go to Key West together. Amsterdam is really nice too!

Dodger

david said...

CONGRATZ. that 360 degree view was clever.

Boyd and Lloyd said...

Woo!

Congrats on the anniversary.

B&L

Straight Guy from NYC said...

You'd love Provincetown in the summer. Take my word and make a trip there.

Tim said...

meh I find that most of my feelings of unease come from inside me, and that i make it worse than it should be. try being out one afternoon and see if anyone even notices.

Michael Anthony said...

Just come out already -- I did it at 12 and survived the midwest. You'll be FINE! With love... ~m