Monday, January 18, 2010

Well, That Was Fun

It's always hard to know beforehand which posts are going to get a lot of attention and which ones aren't. Sometimes I poor my icy heart out into a post and the only person that comments is mother disguised as a fat middle-aged man disguised as a cute teenage boy.

I didn't expect people to get so excited about my little study on Jason Carwin. It's kind of thrilling. Apparently, the only thing I've learned from all of this is that if I want my blog to be any sort of success, I should just attack teenagers until they are all floating, lifeless in the blogging sea.

I try not to care about what people say in the comments. When people tell me I'm a good writer, I smile to myself and blush a little. But I don't really think of myself that way and I haven't exactly gotten any Pulitzers in the mail so that's that. When people disagree with me, I tend to think they've got their little minds backwards. But everyone has their opinion and I can tolerate that as much as I can tolerate heterosexuals. So that's that.

But when people are mean, I get kind of taken aback. Well, clearly I've done myself in because I'm the one that dedicated an entire post to writing off a poor innocent boy. But at least I had the decency to channel my aggression onto my own blog. For example, don't comment on my post calling me a seething, jealous bitch and then ask me how things are going with my boyfriend. Things are going fine, by the way.

I didn't think Jason was going to read the post. Some fucker probably tipped him off. Probably that bitch, Anon #5. But he left a nice comment which I respect as much as I can respect heterosexuals. So I suppose in this exchange he is the bigger man and the better person. Who knows, maybe even smarter fag (well, depending on who you ask).

I don't really regret what I've said but I regret where I'm coming from. I don't want anybody to be happy until I've found happiness for myself. I want to go to Yale and I want to Julie Powell-esque blog success and I want to attend the Golden Globes with Neil Patrick Harris. When I encounter people that have these things, I try to rationalize why I deserve it more. I need to get over that.

All things considered, I certainly don't think Jason should take my post to heart. As much as I have the right to be a bitch, he has the right to be happy about his acceptance. If I'd gotten in somewhere great, I probably would've jumped for joy and told Stavros Niarchos to suck my dick. And though I am hard-pressed to say so, in Jason's own way, he deserves it. Meanwhile, I still grasp desperately to the hope that one day I will achieve my own sort of success and acceptance. Because I think I deserve it too.

--edit--

It really bothers me that somebody with absolutely no readers and no comments has called my blog under-read. How would he even know? My sitemeter is password protected...

This person thinks he's Mother Willow because he's too mature to care about money and where he goes to school and "any of that shit." Please. That is just so naive. Hand me that $2 trashcan from Ikea so I can vomit in it.

Your parents paid for your private school (seriously doubt they were snipping school vouchers from the local newspaper) and probably paid for your college and will probably continue giving you whatever you want for the rest of your life no matter what you do / how unsuccessful your blog is.

And though this person finds me "absolutely disgusting," I have a feeling he will continue reading my blog and will probably have some sort of response in the form of a short witty comment. But I really hope he doesn't. This is the last thing I want to say about all of this.

But if he decides to write a follow up on his own blog about how horrible and tragic I am, I couldn't care less. Because if a tree falls and nobody is there to hear it, then your blog is a piece of shit.

14 comments:

Toby said...

Maybe I'm still high off of the Kosmo Krator scandal, but I find myself seriously thinking that Carwin isn't who he says he is.

That said, let's move on and find other heroes to throw into the fire!

Aek said...

Hmm, I think somewhere in this post was a reference to my comment on your last post. Alas, I apologize that my words were misinterpreted and I apologize for my harsh words.

And it seems I've nothing more to say, so I'll shut up now.

Sean said...

Oo! Pick me! Pick me!

P.S. It's the internet. Feel free to write off whomever you'd like.

david said...

i know you've been told this many times, but you should be a writer. i'm serious.

xoxo

Formysake said...

yeah, you've been doing this for a couple of years now and I'm sure the Pulitzer is coming in the future, however far that may be, and even the Julie Powell-esque success because I find your blog linked to some really good and popular ones...I'm sure you know which those are.

I read Julie's blog after the movie came out, the idea was brilliant but the writing was "kay"

At least you have a bf and that's doing fine.

me said...

And, who cares if Carwin read or likes your blog? Vividblurry and LP read it, and given the quality of their blogs, that should be all the satisfaction you need.

Louis said...

Well you have Mariah at least.

TED said...

I like it better when you're pretending to be bitter and desperate about your own life than when you're pretending to be bitter and desperate about some random comment left here. You should at least consider going back to writing raw stuff about the tall alcoholic bf and responding to crap on the Internet with more wit and less angst.

Also, the fact that someone continues to read a blog doesn't mean that it's good, merely that it's compelling. I'm not talking about your blog here, but surely there are some blogs that you read in spite of yourself, because of the train wreck phenomenon. It's the same reason people watch the various incarnations of Real Housewives.

Anonymous said...

Just because I said I didn't care about money doesn't mean I was trying to set some status as being mature. I know you weren't talking about me, but I am working on a degree that my parents aren't paying for. It definitely won't say Harvard anywhere on it, but I never cared about school when I was younger. Also I'm not going to ever get married or have children and so I don't need to stock up on wealth and success like a squirrel collecting nuts for the winter because I'm just not going to need it.

champagnesocialist said...

holy hell, I need to catch up on everything here

Anonymous said...

There are tons of kids that jump through all the hoops and don't make it. Complaining reeks of your privilege, which it seems you haven't taken the time to explore.

There's obviously something to be said about the lack of class consciousness in the college application process (and the U.S. in general) but bitching about it and hurting someone else in the process probably isn't the best way to go about it.

champagnesocialist said...

Is it bad to reply to other peoples' comments on here? I'm ignorant of blog etiquette

To the person above: A blog = online journal. you should expect venting

Now if he had gone to the other person's page & done it..that's a different issue

Jason Carwin said...

Hey man, I'm sorry if I offended you with my comment. I really didn't mean to. I noticed that you got some really nasty comments too, and I was shocked to see this. As you might imagine, I know what it's like to have people write cruel and unfair things about you, and I know it sucks.

Ya, it's the internet, and at some level, we can just shrug it off. However, I think most of us are the kind of people who take criticism to heart, and it's really hard to keep ignoring ppl when they say you are a whining bitch etc etc.

I actually do enjoy your blog, and I enjoy your writing style. I'm sorry people said such cruel things to you because they are wrong.

Straight guy from NYC said...

Honestly, I don't care whether your write about your personal life, people around you, celebrities or other bloggers.

Whether you bash people unfairly or kiss ass and be nice, it is still the same thing.

Just keep writing for you are very good at it.