Gay Idol

Every year, there is one contestant on American Idol that is gayer than a messenger bag. First it was Justin Guarini, then it was Clay Aiken. Most recently, it's been Sanjaya and David Archuleta. I watched Idol for the first time this year and when I spotted this seasons gay contestant, I was not impressed.

I've heard some controversy over Adam Lambert opening up about his sexuality on the show because it would cause him to lose votes. Let's face it, the vast majority of Idol viewers are obese conservatives who wear massive sweatshirts and sit on their couches all day quoting the Bible and Paula Deen. So sure, he would lose votes if he came out. I also suspect that the show would lose quite a lot of viewers that are appalled that a homosexual is being flaunted as an "idol."

But if he does come out, every time something bad happens to Lambert people are going to complain about it being some form of anti-gay discrimination.

I know us gays have a certain obligation to stick together and support each other. So if one of us finally makes it in the world, we should back him 100%. But I can't bring myself to like Lambert just because he is gay. I must say, if Lambert gets voted off, it probably won't be because he is gay as much as because he is also really weird and bad.

First off, his hair looks like he killed a bird of paradise and put it on his head. He wears more eyeliner than Amy Winehouse. He sings well but also like he's possessed. And it's all very awkward to watch. I don't know why this has escaped people's attention but the winner of American Idol has to appeal to the majority of the American public. If he (or anyone really) thinks he can win by being weird / individualistic / gay, he's going to be surprised.

And although it's pretty obvious that he is gay, conservatives are very dense and they probably haven't figured that out yet. But I don't want Lambert to come out on the Idol because he would immediately become the face of the gay community to millions of ignorant people across America and they will probably assume we are all like that. And just for once I would like an all American guy to represent the gay community in a positive, non-bird-of-paradise, non-eyeliner, non-fucking-weird way.