Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Hillary 2012

So I reluctantly admit to myself that I'm probably only going to get one comment per post on this blog, (and sometimes none at all). This saddens me immensely because I had lofty dreams of becoming the next great blogger, or you know... the first. Seems like I never learn the danger of aspiring to greatness; it always leads to disappointment. Not that I want to be the focus of universal praise and adoration, but it'd be nice to know I have a sizable group of loyal readers and I'm not just writing all of this for a few middle-aged pedophiles from Jersey. But in order to keep my giant head at a manageable size, maybe it's good to know that nobody cares about my life and I'm really just talking to myself.

But as it were, I'm writing this from Dupont Circle. Lured by the free wireless internet. But we all know that is just a ruse, I could have very well gone to McDonalds if I wanted free Wi-Fi. I'm really here to find love. So I sit on the grass, trying to withstand the awful smell, hoping that I didn't sit in poo, cursing the bugs that are crawling up my pants, waiting for my one true love to see right through my nonchalant expression and snatch me up. But as I uncross my legs trying to return some feeling into them, I remember the danger of aspiring to greatness. So I pack my things and leave.

And as I leave, I get accosted by a frustratingly persistent member of the ACLU (American Civil Liberties Union). And being the softy that I am, I get suckered into listening to the entire stupid sob story about prisoners of war, and the tortured Americans, and freedom of speech, and all that crap that nobody cares about whatsoever. I try desperately to find a way out but it's far too late, I'm in her clutches and there is no escape for me. If only I had the balls to just push that bitch out of my way and continue to wherever it is I'm going. But I don't have the balls, and ultimately I am forced into a one-time donation of eight dollars (I hid the $50 in my wallet). She recommended that I give a hundred dollars but I just laughed at the ridiculous things coming out of her mouth . As I scuttle away, I can't help but feel like I totally wasted $8. I am no Rockefeller. My money better go towards something worthwhile like legalizing gay marriage on Mars or getting Hillary elected in 2012.



3 comments:

Tranquilizer said...

You shouldn't be too hard on yourself, you've only just started this blog! Give others the time to discover it. I've added you to my blogroll to (hopefully) speed things up a bit. :)

That is, of course, not the reason why I've added you. I love the way you write stuff down and I personally think you could be one of those 'next great bloggers'. Maybe not to everyone, but at least to a large group.

And those $8 aren't 'wasted'. Giving money to someone might have its positive sides as well (I just made a post about this subject).

Love, T

Andrew said...

Well this is odd, but by insulting me on Matt's blog (debriefing the boys), you've garnered my attention on your blog. I think it's well written and you do indeed seem to have a big-head, as you say, but it's an appealing arrogance.

As for aspirations of greatness, I don't suppose a platitude of "shoot for the stars" or some other crap would really suffice. In reality, you're probably right that aiming for greatness will almost undoubtedly lead to disappointment and failure. Nonetheless, you might just find yourself great without trying; who knows. It's happened before.

Oh, and as for Matt, thank you for correcting my spelling of "narcissist". I still think Matt's a narcissist from what he's written. I could be wrong, but it's just what I've observed.

Hope to read more of your blog.

Andrew

Aek said...

Your blog is new. It takes time. Though my blog doesn't have many readers (I think) but whatever.

The best thing about new blogs is that it takes very little time to "get up to speed" with things and read through it all.